Delivering Desperate measures
by allegro63
Summary: Fred and George use an interesting method to come up with a business savy solution
1. Chapter 1

Fred sat at his desk in the office behind his and George's joke shop. It had been an extremely good year. Profits were way up, and they had enough orders for their products to keep them busy for years to come. However Fred was frustrated, and it was beginning to show. He kept rustling papers around and cursing under his breath while frequently running his fingers through his hair. He'd done that so much that his hair had begun to resemble a red-tinged hedgehog.

George walked into the office just as Fred threw an exploding chocolate frog at the door. He managed to just duck the frog and the chocolate mess it made as it hit the doorjamb. "Woah, bro!" George exclaimed. "Whatever did I do to deserve having chocolate aimed at me, and risking ruining my new dragon-skin jacket?"'Sorry George," Fred replied, "I'm just so fed up. I didn't sigh up for this kind of headache." "You still trying to work out a more efficient delivery system? George asked. "Yeah" said Fred, "but I'm stuck. We are starting to get complaints that our products are taking too long to reach the customers."

Fred and George had recently expanded to a "mail-order" system for customers who wanted to purchase their novelty items. Their products had gotten so popular that customers were beginning to overcrowd the store, and they were getting increasing number of owls for having things shipped instead of the customer coming to the store. After a few well-placed ads in the Daily Prophet and the Quibbler, the shipping side of their business had boomed. So much so that they had to hire staff just to answer owls, and to prepare the orders for delivery. They even had a small staff of house elves to assist in production, something they kept secret, as they didn't want Hermione Granger finding out and staging a S.P.E.W. rally outside their door. Fred and George liked Ms. Granger, they just didn't think she understood house elves at all.

Emily Wigglesworth one of the Weasley's top sales clerks tapped on the door then poked in her head. "We have just received an order for 500 exploding candy canes." She said, "And you'll never guess from who?" George said "well tell us then." While Fred merely growled. "The order came from the North Pole." Emily said. "Apparently the big elf himself wants them as gifts for his staff." "Thanks Emily, George said. "Tell the house elves to get right on it."

George turned back towards Fred, who had a strange look in his eye. "Man, you are starting to scare me. What is up with you." Fred began to laugh. "Why didn't I think of this before? Who has one of the best and most efficient mass delivery systems in the world? Who without fail gets his products delivered on time and too the right location every time, year after year?" George shook his head. "I'm not following you." "SANTA, you dunce." Fred retorted. "Santa does that every Christmas Eve. I bet your new jacket that the reindeer and sleigh is just a ploy, that Mr. Claus has been using another method all this time." "Maybe he does," Said George, "but what does that have to do with us?" "It has everything to do with us." Fred said, almost shouting. "We are swamped with orders for delivery. Owls are too slow and can't carry heavy items, the muggle method is a joke, as they don't recognize most wizard addresses. Even the floo network is inefficient as we have to have someone on the other side to accept delivery AND we can only do one delivery at a time. That elf has figured out a way, and you and I are going to figure it out." "Yeah?" Said George. "And just how do you propose to do that?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Fred and George laden down with boxes of exploding candy canes, prepared to step into a fireplace, destination The North Pole. "I can't believe you talked me into this Fred." Said George. "Well you didn't come up with anything better." Retorted Fred, who reached into a pocket and threw some powder into the fire. They then stepped into the fireplace and onto the otherside, which was an expansive office, with a huge desk surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of toys. "Welcome Fred and George Weasley. What a pleasant surprise." Said Santa Claus. Fred and George dropped their boxes, onto a nearby table and approached the desk. Mr. Claus minus red coat and hat, was sitting behind the desk, and smiled at their approach. "You didn't have to make this delivery yourselves, boys. "he said. "We know." Said Fred, "but we couldn't resist a chance to meet you in person." George stepped in. "We also know your quality standards, and wanted to make sure that your order met with your satisfaction. We even brought you a sample to try." "Why thank you boys." Said Santa, reaching for the candy cane in George's hand. As soon as he had taken the candy, then he found himself being pulled into it, and with a pop, disappeared from the room. "Well, that was easy." Said Fred with relief. "He never suspected that we may be handing him a portkey." "I still say we are going to be getting coal in our stockings for a decade for this." Said George as both men walked back towards the fireplace and home.

Back at the novelty shop, Fred and George found a very irate Santa Claus on their hands. They'd always thought he was a kindly old elf, but then no one had ever kidnapped him before. They'd seen their little sister and their mother in a high temper, and knew well to stay clear of both when those tempers were in full force. This was worse, and it was all their fault. Finally, Fred, in sheer desperation transfigured a stack of old dungbombs into a plate of gingerbread cookies and hesitatingly offered them to Santa. Santa took one look at the cookies, grabbed the plate from Fred's hands, sat down and began to methodically eat them one by one. "Ok boys." Santa said between bites. "You better have a very good reason to take me from my most important work, in such an underhanded method, and you better be planning on getting me home quick, or there will be many disappointed boys and girls, who I will be sending to your doorstep."

Fred gulped, then said. "We were desperate. Our delivery orders are exceeding our ability to deliver them efficiently. We've tried everything we can think of, but nothing is working. We figured you have the best method out there, and if we could just somehow get your method from you, we could at least catch up on our backlog." "That's why? Santa Claus said incredulously, "You kidnapped me for that?" With that said, Santa reared back his head and laughed uproariously. When he finally caught his breath and calmed back down, he smiled at the astonished Weasley brothers and said. "You could have just asked. I know what fine work you do, and I would have been glad to share with you." George took a moment to smack his brother on the back of the head. Fred rubbing his head said. "Really? Well…Is there a chance that you would still be willing to share?"

Christmas morning, Fred and George found themselves at their parent's house preparing to open their gifts. George said to his brother. "I am glad that Santa Claus allowed us access to his special floo powder." "Yeah, allowed. I guess you can call it that. Considering in trade we have to supply him with exploding candy canes and talking chocolate frogs for the next ten years." Replied Fred. "Well, I'm just glad he didn't hand our butts over to the ministry of magic." Said George. "True." Said Fred, reaching into his Christmas stocking. "What did you get?" asked George. "coal' said Fred in disgust. "me too.' Said George with a sigh.


End file.
